Sunday, December 10, 2017

Sticking to the Program (Finding My Lilith)

I thought I'd share a companion inventory we had recently.  During one of our intercourse sessions when he's in his half zombie state and quite out of his mind, he states that he wants to go back to "normal sex" and take a break from retention.  In this state he loses all higher brain function and is oriented only toward the goal of ejaculation. I tell him he still has four days until his special day as I polish off orgasm #8  on his face and remind him to lick as he sometimes forgets when he loses brain function.  I finish #9 and get up to clean myself and pee as he lies there moaning half conscious with a steel hard erection pointing to the ceiling with only the thought of ejaculation processing through what's left of his cognitive function.  This is why following retention won't work unless I as a woman supervise it and make sure that he retains and have simple consequences that even someone that only has a lizard brain left can understand in this post intercourse moment.

A half hour later he wants to have a talk and states "No, really, maybe we should take a break from retention for about a month, and that I should think about it."

me: I thought about it and the answer is no.

him: But why?

me: Because it's good for you.  The sex is better.  Your harder longer.  And your big enough to reach my special spots when you retain.  When you have "normal" sex, you don't get long enough to reach where you need to in there.  We're going to continue with retention." (Retention really does give him an unbelievable steel rod that's longer and thicker.  I'm not giving that up.)

him: But I don't want to retain anymore. (No kidding, like I don't know this,  the veins in his penis look like they're ready to burst.)

me: But I've already decided that I only want to be in a relationship with someone that is retaining.  Do you want that person to be you?  I have a right to maximum passion and happiness in a relationship and retention achieves that goal for us, baby.  We're both happy, and I'm very happy.

him: What if I just want to cum and masturbate.  (Why he continues down this road, I have no idea.  He knows the answer is always "No!")

me: As long as your under my roof, eating my food and spending my money, that better not happen.

him: Or what? (Yes, he said this!)

me: Or you'll be spending your days when I'm at work in a cock cage (he really doesn't like that), and you'll get a strapping that you'll never forget.  Now put you pants on, you're dripping on the floor.  (He'll consent to those terms or find another place to sleep.)

I don't want people to think there is any hostility in this conversation.  He just needs the boundaries drawn out for him when his cognitive function is reduced to that of a third grader.  He'll be back to his post doc level in a few hours.  I realize sex was just half an hour ago and his brain is still at 50%, but this illustrates that the woman is the only person in the room that's going to have her wits about her and enforce retention for the good of the relationship, and I'm happy to do it until he becomes some kind of zen / tantric master.  But for now, he's a typical western male standing in front of me with a raging erection that I'm done with that just wants nothing more than to ejaculate.  A steel hard erection that by the way millions of men take a blue pill to get.  I wonder how many would need that pill if they retained (outside of viral and medication side effect causes of dysfunction of course).  My husband would never be this hard without retention.  Aside from this little rough patch after sex sometimes, the relationship is bliss 99% of the time.  I admit I probably ride him too hard and long during intercourse requiring him to thrust fast and hard to get me to the brink of climax and we do it nine times so he's quite out of his mind when we're finished.

There is always a raging war between Eve and Lilith inside me (chap 11).  I'm about 70% Eve and 30% Lilith.  And I'm trying to make my Lilith side stronger, but Eve is in my DNA and she's tough to exterminate.   In the past, I have been the docile easy going one.  I  acquiesced to my husband in many things because I didn't really care that much regardless.  But now I have blossomed into a full woman - an actual person, and I have needs, wants, and desires of my own.

Being an Eve, I am the constant caring mother looking out for the best interest of the whole family, and I know that the best thing for the family isn't to always let others get their way all the time.  Think of a single mom.  How often I watch them struggle with their unruly children, the monsters that they have created.  So often the single mother is exhausted and emotionally tattered and doesn't have the strength to tell her child "no" though that is precisely the word the child needs to hear with clear solid boundaries so that there can be peace for everyone in the home.  To be clear, I DO NOT ADVOCATE PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT FOR CHILDREN.  Token economies work marvelously for achieving target behavior for children and are rewarding and fun.

It can be a rewarding challenge to rise up and become Lilith because even though it means having to be the bad guy on regular occasions during intercourse, grabbing that penis and stopping ejaculation, the rewards are immense.  For the single mom who chooses to be strong and take charge, she ends up raising a happy, productive, balanced child rather than a delinquent, and she wins a home where her children respect her.  Over the last year I have raised a happy productive more balanced husband by standing firm on retention, breaking that stimulus response relationship between his penis and his hand and replacing it with only my vagina.  Stimulation to his penis comes only from my vagina and because of this, I am the eternal novel female he seeks.   Even though I have given permission for him to pull on his penis, he reports no pleasure from it as he received from that activity before retention.  I assume because that pulling on it no longer results in ejaculation.

IMO, a woman that embraces her inner Lilith by enforcing retention not only increases passion in her marriage, but also builds  confidence in herself which helps her face other challenges in her work and community, and she is constantly nourished in the relationships she engages in because she has chosen to be an equal (if you choose to run your husband's retention program that way) rather than a victim of her husband's self abuse. 

My impulse is to make him happy, but making him happy in the short term is not conducive to his and our long term happiness.  It's a conundrum.  But long term happiness wins out.  Plus, I truly believe that retention could have an effect on male health and longevity as stated in eastern philosophy.  I want him to be healthy and around for a long time.  He retains and consents to it if he's going to live with me.  And in another few hours it becomes a non issue.   This is stuff I've already talked about.  I just thought I'd share it as it is a recurring issue.  Sorry if it's redundant.


 Thanks to my hubby for help with the website ...and the orgasms!

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane, and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Reader Letter: Wife Has Low Libido

"Hi again,
I have read and reread everything I think. My placement of this comment here seems somewhat random but here goes: in your relationship semen retention and orgasm control have been very useful tools for a relatively dominant woman with a high sex drive to contain and regulate her husband’s sexual and emotional energy both to maximize marital passion and meet both her needs and his (though he might not have recognized his needs prior to embarking on this journey). From the outside it appears that female dominance and male submissiveness might have been necessary starting points from which practices like semen retention and the prohibition of male masturbation have relevance and utility. Certainly there needs to be enough desire for physical intimacy by both parties for the practices you describe to present a pathway that both parties want to journey down. I wonder whether your practices would speak to a woman with with a low libido, who is menopausal and not interested in sex, who has little desire for an orgasm and seems to view her husbands sexual energy as an unwanted excess, a threat and not a a potential resource for her pleasure. In an almost sexless marriage my wife has no issue with my masturbating and sees it as a discharge of energy that she has little to no use for. She claims that she does not masturbate or think about sex these dat.To the extent that I can restrain myself and have done so I can feel my affection for and focus on my wife increase but unfortunately it is unwanted and leaves me feeling a bit lost, like I am pushing on a string...

I suppose that I’ve put this comment here under the “Awakening your Yoni” because I specifically wonder whether there is any literature on yoga, or similar practices providing a post menopausal and estrogen depleted female with an augmented libido. Unfortunately because of a family history of breast cancer oral or topical hormone therapy is not a good option. I’m quite impressed by your thoughtful description of your successful marriage and am eager to find a truth or a tool here for us. I know that you have written this blog for women so that they might be empowered by your words and not necessarily for men, and that you are not marriage counselors either but I am eager to her you thoughts on my hypothetical."

 Thanks for reading and your comments.  First of all, a woman needs to be in good health and have good energy to have a healthy libido.  There are many things that can get in the way of this.  Stress is a biggy, and sometimes men forget how much can be on a woman’s plate between work, kids, housework, and all the other activities that keep everything going.  It takes a lot of energy.  Unfortunately, many women suffer from sleeping issues during peri-menopause and menopause and can have multiple sleep interruptions during the night because of hot flashes or other reasons.  If you have an enormous amount of energy that needs to be spent on the tasks that keep all the wheels turning, and you’re not able to get adequate sleep, sex is the last thing on your mind.  Anything you can do to lighten her load and lessen her stress may be helpful.

I’ll admit that there was quite a long period where we didn’t engage in much sexual activity.  I could take it or leave it, and it was much easier to leave it.  Once engaging in the actual act, I would get into it and enjoy it, but I didn’t really want to expend the energy to get it going mostly because before retention, he only lasted a couple of minutes anyway.  I think that also went a long way to killing my libido.  He didn't do anything long enough to wake me up down there.  It's a shame that many women's libidos are probably killed by thousands of minutemen out there.  It's also why going back to "normal" sex for us is not an option.

Once I learned of the longevity hormones produced during sex and how beneficial it was for health and to keep one looking younger, I became motivated to make it a priority.  This is more Eastern philosophy than Western medicine.  It doesn’t matter if there is actual truth in it.  If there is a chance it will help keep me youthful and beautiful, my vanity wins.  I make sex a priority now.  Even if I'm not in the mood to work out, I still have the discipline to start.  And like a workout, afterwards I'm glad I did.

I would also like to share a book that I am reading that I think could be invaluable for you and your wife.  Again, this is not coming from conventional medicine, but it truly speaks deeply to me.  The name of the book is “Thyroid Healing” by Anthony William.  The man who calls himself the Medical Medium, so you may need to take it with a grain of salt.  I have seen the things he talks about in his books supported clinically in my practice many times.  Honestly, I don’t care where the source comes from if the information really does help my patients get better.  He says that when a woman has no libido, it is because her adrenal glands are fatigued.  But it may not just be all her activities and demands that are fatiguing her adrenal glands, it may be the Epstein Bar Virus as well, and he has an awful lot to say about this virus.  I really feel prompted to bring this up because you mention a family history of breast cancer which means your wife could be at risk of developing breast cancer.  Mammograms and self exams are great for detecting cancer, but they don’t prevent it.  Without knowing and understanding the cause of breast cancer which he talks about in this book, it becomes much more difficult to prevent.  I highly recommend reading the book.

So let’s say there is an issue with the adrenal glands.  What can you do for them?  One of the best herbs out there to give the adrenal glands a boost is licorice root.  You can take it in capsules or drink it in teas.  For any readers out there who may be considering becoming pregnant or who are pregnant, I don't recommend this.  I would also recommend monitoring your blood pressure as well as this has been known to sometimes elevate blood pressure which can be wonderful for people out there with too low of blood pressure.  Other herbs that are beneficial for the adrenal glands include Ashwaghanda, Passion Flower, Rhodiola, and Hops.  There are herbal sleeping aids such as Power to Sleep PM that I believe can be found at Wal-Mart that have a combination of Ashwaghanda, Passion Flower, Hops, and Lemon Balm with melatonin too that can really help a woman in menopause have a much better night of sleep while supporting the adrenal glands too.  It’s hard to feel sexy while tired.  A good night of sleep can go a long way to changing everything in the bedroom.

From the conventional medicine side of things, there is a cream that a compounding pharmacy can make with a small amount of testosterone the female can massage onto her clitoris before engaging in sex.  This helps the woman become more aroused and find more pleasure in the sexual experience.  Our local pharmacy calls it the “Scream Cream.”  Something like this would require a visit with your local health care provider for a prescription.  This is using a  hormone, but not a hormone related to increased breast cancer risk.  However, if you have no energy to engage in sex, you won’t feel motivated to apply the cream and use it.  So addressing those adrenal glands and alleviating the stressors around her may be the better approach for your wife from the information I’ve gleaned from your letter.

There my be other psychological aspects going on.  Talking about what her needs and desires are could be helpful.  And maybe she feels that there is nothing wrong with the current way the relationship is and has no interest in ever rekindling the passion.  People go through many changes in their lifetime and have different needs and desires than the desires they had as a younger person.  Maybe there is a way that you can both continue in your current relationship without trying to shape her into a situation she doesn’t desire.  Maybe she can’t see the vision now but will one day in the future.  It took me several years before I really understood the magical beautiful place that could exist with me controlling my husbands orgasms.

Again, I'm not your doctor.   Consult your healthcare provider, and get a second and third opinion.  Every healthcare provider will bring something different to the table.

I hope this was helpful for you and hopefully will be helpful to other readers out there.


 Thanks to my hubby for help with the website ...and the orgasms!

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane, and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Preparing Your Yoni to Receive the Retaining Male's Lingam

It's important in my opinion that when you have your man retaining and he is preserving his Jing and building Chi that I prepare myself to receive that special Lingam that has been prepared for me by my loving husband.  I incorporate Yoni exercises like this to maximize  my orgasms in addition to my regular Yoga routine.  I insist on his retention for spiritual and health reasons.  Some comments I receive seem to focus on retention as a way to domesticate the man which can be a role for him as he discovers his true nature through retention.  It's not something I'm as focused on as the spiritual and intimacy benefits.  He doesn't orgasm/ejaculate while servicing me, but he does participate in the cycle of chi between us.

These videos demonstrate why it's so important that I be his discipline for retaining as he is weakest at the moment of intercourse.  While every woman is not going to be as limber, or have the vaginal strength as other women, or even be as comfortable in letting it all go and being a sexual being, there are great benefits in practicing and strengthening and fun in seeing what your yoni can be.  I'll let Grace demonstrate (Her husband also retains)

Hopefully these exercises will give some insight in how to awaken your yoni.  I think this also shows why my husband needs a strong aversive stimulus to prevent ejaculation and help him focused on retaining and keep that chi cycling between us until I've received my ninth orgasm and we put his penis away until our next session that he's very much looking forward too.

I thought I would share this realizing  not every women is going to feel comfortable doing yoni exercises the way Grace does.  Hopefully though this can give you some ideas, and then you can make your own sexual prep practices something that is comfortable for you.  Sex prep can truly enhance your strength and ability to orgasm.

Before he was retaining, my husband would maybe last a few minutes.  With retention, my yoni is able to take full advantage of his lingam.  Yoga centered on the yoni can really pay off when you have a male with a penis that's there for the long haul during intercourse.  And since sex no longer revolves around goal oriented male ejaculation, he's more in moment with me.  When I'm finished, he's still hoping for more.   He doesn't get more, but I may sit on his face, and even get a thank you later for my resolve in helping him retain.  Initially he may have some resentment when the session ends, but he's short sighted at that moment.  He knows sex is best for him this way.

Hope this helps.

Thanks to my hubby for help with the website ...and the orgasms!

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane, and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

Monday, August 14, 2017

The Self Perception and Purpose of the Retaining Male

Once my man was retaining, I  began to naturally assert my self.  As he was retaining his self perception began to change bringing him more into alignment with the vision of what I thought our relationship should be.  I feel that ideally that a relationship should be loving and passionate through the years and not taper off to a passionless state with time. Retention seems to have largely accomplished that for us.  Again, I only have experience with one retaining male so your mileage may vary, but I assume most men will respond in a similar way.

The biggest thing for my husband was changing the perception of his ejaculation as a "given" in intercourse to ejaculation being optional.  My perception also changed about this as well.  I know this isn't practical, but in an ideal world, I think men should only ejaculate when trying to conceive a child, and the rest of the time during the relationship, he should be retaining in order to foster maximum emotional intimacy in the relationship.  My husband certainly doesn't do this, but still his perception of his ejaculation has gone from it's totally up to him whenever and wherever to "I want to ejaculate.  I need to discuss this with her."  And we'll have a meeting and discuss it.  It's up to me to decide if it's the most prudent thing for him or not.  Ejaculation is not frivolous thing for him as it is for most males.  That's a huge change for him and it has a ripple effect to other aspects of his psyche:

Cultural Perception of Masculinity

This is a big one.  A real man shouldn't have to ask his wife if he can ejaculate.  I would contend that a real man can see the big picture and see that if he submits to his wife in this one area, that the whole relationship will transcend to a different level.  And that he needs her to be stronger than he can be during the heat of intercourse and enforce retention.  Most western males simply aren't going to be able to retain without assistance from the female.  Retaining isn't something that he can secretly do.  It's something that's out in the open that we're both aware of, and I do what I can to stop ejaculation preserving his semen contents like the precious zinc in his system among other things.  We have separated ejaculation from intercourse and accept that his penis is only for penetration to help me climax and a weekly draining to flush it out for maintenance. The cultural perception of masculinity has been determined largely by free ejaculating males and the women that submit to them.  Things that come from it like two men hitting each other in the head until one falls down are probably disposable and not essential to our culture.  From my experience, the retaining male is focused on his wife and not cultural perceptions.


He confesses that he feels humiliated on occasion as I use him for my pleasure leaving him with an engorged penis and my secretions covering his face as I just walk away.  But this dynamic makes him even harder, so I discount it.  Humiliation is part of his arousal mechanism, and it seems to be the result of retention.  Couples will have to make their own observations about this, and see if it bares out for them as well.  Retention leaves him accepting his role as a tool for my pleasure and looking forward to serving me again and again.

Once I had him to the point where he knew that I wanted him to consult with me before ejaculation, it brought us much closer.  He waits for the release command on ejaculation day.  The last thing he hears before his ejaculation is the sound of my voice giving him permission to do so.  I think that this alone will produce changes in the relationship.  And I must admit, it's a bit of a rush seeing a penis do that simply because I tell it to.  I always like to look back as I'm riding his face for my orgasm after giving the release command to watch him squirt.  Once I removed that privacy from his life, and inserted myself in the decision making process between him and his penis, he was always hoping to be with me.  We went from leading separate lives in many ways to being much closer and increasing the frequency of intimacy.

Men and Women: The Nature of Their Sexual Purpose

My husband is only denied orgasm because it's so inextricably tied to ejaculation. To retain means holding onto his semen and unfortunately that means removing orgasm but not pleasure.  There is no need to introduce this life giving fluid into our recreational activity.  It's interesting that women can orgasm for purely recreational reasons having nothing to do with procreation, and it's virtually impossible for 99.9% of men to orgasm without spilling what's vital only for procreation, but yet we view men as the more sexual creature when in reality it's the opposite with a sexually awakened woman.  Men are procreative creatures preoccupied with and driven to release ejaculate.  I let my husband fulfill his purpose of releasing ejaculate about once to twice a week.  I simply delay his release by 3-7 days instead of 3-7 minutes letting our passion and intimacy spread into all aspects of our life throughout the week.  Why not have him retain all the time?

There are some men that do retain all the time; however, I think it may be a healthy thing to flush out the plumbing once in awhile.  Also, if he was never allowed to ejaculate, his brain would turn to mush.  When we have gone for longer periods without, he becomes too needy to be with me constantly desiring sex.  He follows me around like a lost puppy and can't think straight.  Some women may enjoy this, but it gets to the point where I find it an annoyance and can't get any real world activities done.  Then I begin to resent him which is not the goal for our relationship.  If the sexual activity isn't bringing both parties closer together, it's time for us to rethink and change strategy.

Women are sexual having sex not only to procreate but for their own pleasure releasing no fluid that has anything to do with procreation during orgasm.  The male orgasm is inextricably tied to the procreative act.  A women's orgasm is not.  The reader can make their own observations about this fact, but I think I can draw conclusions about this fact as to our purposes for my husband and myself.  I have sex as recreation.  He has sex for procreation not that he wants children, but the end result of the sex act is a fluid that is only good for that purpose.  He can have sex as recreation as well but only without orgasm and ejaculation.  He receives intense pleasure but no orgasm leaving him without resolution in the moment but lasting intimacy throughout the week, hoping, yearning, longing to be close to me and only me. This is what all women/girls think they get when they get married and a man takes his vows.  This is an illusion.  I've found the only way to achieve this with a man is through semen retention from my experience.  It can only be done by inserting myself into his private life and making his ejaculation very much my business.

My husband found the chart below.  I think it's from Marnia Robinson author of Cupid's Poison Arrow. It basically sums it up.  The notations on the chart are added by someone else, but I think they may be relevant.  With retention, there is no sudden rise in prolactin and drop in Dopamine. prolaction is basically the "I don't love you anymore hormone".  I assume after intercourse, these levels do taper off to somewhat normal, but it appears to me there is not a sudden dump of prolactin into his system like happens with ejaculation given his response with no ejaculation.  It could be said that by preventing the dump of prolactin the wife is preserving the love that her husband has for her.  Sorry ladies if that demystifies love for you.  But an autopsy on love has been done, and we know basically how it works in rudimentary terms.  They say upon ejaculation, prolactin can be released in surges for up to two weeks which does account for his testiness and lack of respect for me at certain times from my observation if true.  If a man is ejaculating daily with masturbation, is it any wonder why passion is drained form a marriage.  If we go with this prolactin theory, and I think I will, there are studies of multi orgasmic men that really don't have a refractory period.  Meaning they have intercourse, ejaculate and then immediately go at it again.  They have measured that there is no prolactin release on that first ejaculation, but there is on the second ejaculation.  They are not done with the woman until there is that prolactin release.  So by stopping the prolactin dump into his system, I can regulate his love and adoration for me.

I've heard the phrase "adoring husband", but I don't think I've ever seen one until we practiced semen retention.  Let's look at the definition of adoring:

- love and respect (someone) deeply.
- worship; venerate
synonyms:worship, glorify, praise, revere, reverence, exalt, extol, venerate, pay homage to;

What woman wouldn't want the adoration of her husband?  I have it.  I thought I'd share my experience.  Maybe other women might gain some insight into their men by virtue of my experience.


Thanks to my hubby for help with the website ...and the orgasms!

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane, and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Reader Letter: Wife Is Very Pleased

"Writing at my wife's request who recently found your blog. She's so pleased by the benefits of this that she wonders why allow any ejaculation, ever? Two weeks in so far and I'm worried about health consequences, although she says those are overblown. She also took to the separate bed idea given my constant night erections. So now after some gentle oral attention under the covers while she reads, followed by a nightly leg and foot massage while she falls asleep, I retreat to the sofa. Worried I'm becoming more of a maid than a husband (yes, apron and all), although in all other areas we're communicating and getting along better than ever. Advice?"

I’m so glad that both of you are finding retention rewarding.  You will need to ascertain the benefits or ill effects of retention for yourselves.  I really can’t make a recommendation.  Consult your physician.   Just keep up on the latest studies and see where it leads you.  As far as the psychology of the relationship you can also alternate back and forth and see if the marriage is better with retention or without.

"She's so pleased by the benefits of this that she wonders why allow any ejaculation, ever?”

No ejaculations ever?  It’s just my opinion that ejaculation reinforces erections keeping it likely that they will occur more frequently.  I like erections, and that’s my target behavior.  If erections are never allowed to ejaculate, there may be fewer and fewer erections just going by behavioral science principles.  They call that putting behavior on extinction when the reinforcer (in this case: ejaculation) is never delivered.  Intermittent reinforcement causes target behavior to strengthen.  So when I let him squirt once a week but not always, his penis always has hope that this time may be the time and not just exist in despair of why bother because it’s not going to happen anyway.  I’ve heard of men that retain for very long periods, like for months and months. I’m not sure what the right answer is.  Each couple will have to work that out for themselves.  I think if I said never, my husband’s sex drive may dwindle, and he may lose interest.  There are plenty of couples out there that don’t have sex and both libidos are low.  His desire fuels mine and drives our sex life.  We’re tied very close together like that. You'll have to discuss your ejaculation schedule with your wife.  She can experiment with it and see where your sweet spot is.  It probably varies with each male.

Also from a medical stand point, it may be beneficial to flush the pipes so to speak for prostate health.

"She also took to the separate bed idea given my constant night erections"

I'm so sorry you lost your bed.  I hope you're getting proper rest.  Personally, separate beds works best for us for the reason your wife has stated.  Erections are for women that are awake.  I hope you can find room for a proper bed somewhere so you can have your own space.  There are definitely benefits to separate beds.  We use his bed for sex, and it keeps my sheets clean.  Most people associate separate bedrooms with a marriage gone bad.  We associate separate bedrooms with a marriage that is so passionate, sleep doesn't happen unless there are separate rooms.  I don't advise people to do it.  I don't want to be the cause of people drifting apart.  Many find a close connection by sharing the same bed.  Experiment and see what works.

"Worried I'm becoming more of a maid than a husband (yes, apron and all)"

I can see this being a common concern as men discover their true nature through retention.  And when your surrounded by free ejaculating men that haven't been trained to retain, you will probably notice differences between you and other men.  Being a maid and husband aren't exclusively separate roles, IMO.  If your wife is happy expanding your role as husband to include being the maid, that's up to her.  I think you just need her assurance that she still respects you as a man.  Conventional societal roles are hard to overcome.

"in all other areas we're communicating and getting along better than ever. Advice?"

And that's what it's all about.  Don't force it.  Flow with it.  Have regular companion inventories.  Make sure you're both on the same page and heading in the same direction, and you won't need advice from anybody.


 Thanks to my hubby for help with the website ...and the orgasms!

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Concerns About the Safety of Jade Eggs

It's come to my attention that it may not be advisable to insert Jade Eggs inside the vagina.  It's been my understanding that these eggs have been used by women for over a thousand years originating in China.  There seems to be a recent controversy between gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter and Gwyneth Paltrow about Jade Eggs.  Dr. Gunter a OB/GYN states that Jade is porous and can harbor bacteria.  I've always heard Jade Eggs referenced as non-porous which contradicts Dr. Gunter although bleaching can cause jade to become porous.  This is outside of my expertise.  People should research and do their due diligence on the subject and consult their doctor.  I've never heard of women getting an infection from Jade Eggs following the recommended cleaning procedure.  Of course that doesn't mean it's not happening.

I don't leave it in at night.  I also don't wear it daily.  My experience has been nothing but positive in regards to more vaginal tone and moisture.  Here's a couple of links that will give some more info.

Yoni Egg FAQ

There are thousands of women using eggs and some gynecologists that recommend against using them because of infection risk.   The user should do their research and due diligence on yoni egg usage before purchase.  There is a potential infection risk because of the porous nature of the stone.  I won't recommend them until more is known.

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Reader Question: How do I introduce this to my partner?

I've received a few questions from men that are really intrigued by this system, but are hesitant or afraid of what their wife might think or how they might react.  This is one of my most recent comments.

Wonderful blog you have here. Nicely put and everything seems logical. I want to share and practice this with my wife but I'm afraid how. I'm afraid how she's gonna react or what will she think.

I found this intro to Karezza video, and I wanted to share it.  First, if you don't know what your wife will think, there needs to be more open communication in your relationship.  Talking about what will turn you or her on, or how we can make our great relationship even better, hopefully should always be up for discussion.  And if you don't know how she would react, I certainly don't.

The below video is a really great intro to Karezza.  There is really only one flaw in that they recommend that both the male and female abstain from orgasm.  Alice Bunker Stockham is the originator of Karezza.  She originally recommended that only men refrain from orgasm, but she thought that was unfair to the men and so adapted it to also include women as well.  The Tao or Tantra would disagree.  And as I witness it in my own life, having intercourse with a male that's practicing retention has opened my sexuality even further allowing me to be multi-orgasmic.  I am not drained by having orgasms.  I am only enhanced.  My husband however is drained of energy by ejaculation.  With daily stimulation, my husband's one orgasm a week is more powerful than they otherwise would be.  So, Mrs. Stockham came up with a good thing and then got sidetracked by some twisted version of what she thought might be fair and just IMO.  You can practice however you think it works best for you as a couple.  I have not read Cupid's Poisened Arrow by Marnia Robinson, but I am familiar with her point of view from interviews etc.  I thought this video could be a nice little ice breaker to open up a discussion as a couple to other possibilities:

Cupid's Poisened Arrow Animated Book Review 

The Daily News also did a story on Karezza which could also serve as an ice breaker:

Skip the Orgasm - What's the Point? Couples Embrace Karezza, Sex Without Climax to Strengthen Relationships

ABC News has a story and video:

Karezza: Men Say Best Sex Comes Without Orgasm

Here's a very well grounded woman who helps and facilitates her partner's retention:

Sacred Sex Magic: Conserving Male Energy Using Karezza

Here's a interview with Marnia Robinson which could serve as nice ice breaker:

What Really Bonds is Less Orgasms & More Intercourse

Marnia applies abstaining from orgasm to women in this interview, and says you have to see where you fall on the bell curve as to how it effects you.  Many women don't orgasm during sex naturally.  Are they practicing Karezza?  No, they have a physiological or psychological barrier.  I simply have no ill effects from orgasm, and I have 9 nearly every day.  Many women struggle to have an orgasm.  They need to open their sexuality.  Men have much more profound ill effects from orgasm / ejaculation.  These videos can serve to open the discussion, and the couple can discuss the best method to facilitate the male's retention.  We have found that it works very well in the context of a FLR.

Anyway, here's some potential ice breakers.  See if you deem them appropriate for your spouse to view.


DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.