Sunday, December 4, 2016

Examples of Aversive Stimuli


More than a few times people have asked me for suggestions in my comment sections on aversive stimuli that could be used for unauthorized ejaculation.  I decided to put this together so I have something that I can easily refer people to. If you select the right one and apply it correctly, your husband's behavior can improve greatly.

You will have to decide what works best with your husband during your companion inventories. With any aversive stimulus, if the behavior repeats, or isn't curtailed, then a different stimulus should be tried.   My husband fears non-contact punishment much more than contact.  My go to non-contact punishment is to delay ejaculation day, and that will  curtail his mouth immediately every time.  The phrase "You've just been (or will be) bumped a day." functions as a sharp reminder when he drifts over the line.  Really, this should be enough to influence and correct behavior for most males once you've both agreed that your the one controlling the ejaculation schedule.

There are so many effective aversive stimuli available which may be more appealing to women to apply than contact punishment.  For most of us, our nature is not to be harsh and abusive.  I encourage you to come up with your own ideas with your husband in your companion inventories.  The following are ideas that often work just as well if not better than contact punishment:

-Delay ejaculation day one or two days (this is the most common one I use).

- An early bedtime for a week.

-Revoking TV or computer time.

-Putting him on an allowance and restricting or increasing it according to his behavior.

-If he's a sports fan, deciding which games he will be able to watch if any.  Personally, I think sports watching should be eliminated, but that's for each individual wife to decide.  I really struggle not to strongly recommend the elimination of aggressive sports like football as from my observation of men watching football, it seems to bring out aggression in them.  A sports doctor at a medical conference relayed to me that domestic violence rates go up on Sundays the day of NFL games.  There have been many women who have been brutalized at the hands of their husbands when his team lost.  It brings out the worst in some men.

-Restricting time out with his friends. That should always be at the discretion of the wife. If he's going out with friends, he should always call and ask permission first.

-Corner time

Any one of these really cuts into his life in a way that is felt to the core and modifies behavior.

There are so many other options for the male that craves a controlling female authority, your goals can be easily accomplished without any physical contact.  The above are just some examples. Even better if you and your husband find your own path through your companion inventories.  And always be safe and consensual.


Token Economies

Token economies are a very powerful tool to shape behavior and used for children and adults.  They are especially powerful for the man that earns actual money outside the home as it's a currency that he can't earn outside of you.  You are the dispenser of this unique currency.  Red, white and blue poker chips are commonly used for this.  These chips are linked to behavior both good and bad.  Token economies are so powerful because the chips are reinforcers.  Chips are given for good behavior and subtracted for bad behavior.  What's great about this chips is that they're tied to positive reinforcers.  They are hard and tangible, and you can carry them easily in your pocket and dispense them immediately when you want to reward behaviors

Just as an example, you might say that he needs 7 red chips for an ejaculation, and give him one red chip for each day he doesn't ejaculate.  His chip bank should always be easily accessible to you so you easily subtract any color chip you wish in the event of bad behavior.  Maybe the blue chips could be used for a sexual activity that's his favorite, and if he earns 15-20 of them, you can make that happen for him.  Maybe the white chips could represent 5 minutes of free computer time he could use to view porn if that's his thing.  You can link the white chips to cleaning the toilets, floors etc.  These are just ideas to get you started.  Let your imagination run wild.

An Allowance

An allowance is a great idea for husbands that function in the role of a traditional housewife where he is solely dependent on the income from the wife.  Nothing influences behavior more than going from a $50-100 dollar a week allowance to $10.   You can also tie in the poker chip economy to this.

Contact Punishment

Surprisingly, at least to me, many males crave this from a woman.  And when she does it, it many times still isn't delivered as harshly or severely as he would like.  I almost wonder if European males thought they were following the golden rule of "Do unto others as you would have them do to you" when they enslaved African citizens and did unspeakable things to them, acting out they're own secret fantasies.  The problem with contact punishment for a male that opts for it is that in order for it to function as an averse stimulus, it must be severe enough to wipe out the arousal and function as an actual punishment.  That's why I don't recommend it.  If you live in a more metro area, and want to pursue that road, you should contact a professional in the BDSM community that can instruct you on how to do it safely.  You might want to choose a male instructor from the gay BDSM community over a female.  Men have had thousands of years of being brutal and merciless.  It's in their DNA.  Just tell them what your objective is and inform him your husband has a masturbation problem or a spilling problem that needs to be corrected.  I'm sure he will welcome the opportunity to help you get the message across to your husband.  Choosing a male instructor also has the benefit of not being an arousing female to your heterosexual male.  Just the thought of submitting to another male for punishment might be a powerful enough aversive that he will do everything possible to avoid it.   You could have this BDSM specialist instruct you or just schedule an appointment with him when your husband requires it and have him deliver it with or without you being present if your squeamish.  I assume a professional like this will have all the proper release from liability forms for your husband to sign plus all the restraints and other expensive equipment, so there are benefits.  If the specialist does this correctly, it may wind up only being a one time thing.  Many women are not into contact punishment or may be squeamish, and this is the best solution I can come up with to satisfy both parties.  The wife could be in the room and supervise her husband's punishment at the hands of a male BDSM professional.

I deliver contact punishment to my husband as a concession to him, and I have grown to enjoy it quite a bit, but I'm not an instructor on delivering it.  The issue of safety is an important one.  Every male will be different in what it takes to instruct him on the importance of separating ejaculation from intercourse.  My husband is insisting he has learned his lesson at 50-100 strokes, and begging me to stop.  Julie at Strict Julie Spanks in her article "Beating Your Man Safely" suggests a 300 stroke 30 minute session to get the message across.  That may be what my husband needs, but I'm a softy.  His spills are rare so I will stick to what I'm doing for now.  Following the ejaculation schedule is the only priority because all his other behaviors can be influenced with it.  Just suggesting Julie's 30 minute 300 stroke session definitely got his attention, and I'm sure it will be in the back of his mind to guide him during intercourse as I know my 50-100 stroke sessions are already a strong deterrent.  If you decide to practice contact punishment  after being properly instructed, your husband will grow to fear and respect you, and consequently great love and worship for you can result from this.  From my experience and observation, men despise weak women, and weak daughters of Eve while initially sought by males for easy vaginal access, eventually are neglected and abused by men.  I can't think of how many of my girlfriends suffer in relationships with men that take them for granted.

If you read my comments sections on various entries, much of this will have been repeated information, but now I've got it all in one place.  As I've said before, this is not about a female led relationship for us.  A female led relationship is the result of my husband practicing semen retention, and my assistance by helping and enforcing his ejaculation schedule which has increased the passion in our relationship beyond measure as well as health benefits for him.  It's through him that I've discovered my nature as a daughter of Lilith and ground Eve beneath my feet. 

~Namaste

Thanks to my hubby for help with the website ...and the orgasms!

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

16 comments:

  1. Great suggestions For contact punishment ,a good rule of thumb is to consider his paddling about 50% complete once he starts begging you to stop. So if you hear earnest pleas for you to stop at 100 , deliver another 100.
    Effectiveness can also be measured by how difficult it is for him to sit after and for high long.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the tip. I'll keep that in mind. :-)

      Delete
    2. Wow I enjoy your blog, but your remark on slavery really was in bad taste. D/s "slavery" and actual slavery are not the same, don't mix them up. And please, stop depicting slavery as the brainchild of the big bad Europeans. I understand this idea may fit the political agenda of some people (especially in the U.S), but the harsh truth is that no people enslaved more Africans than the Africans themselves. And yes, Europeans also enslaved Europeans and Asians did the same to other Asians, that's how things worked when there was next to no value to a human life.

      Delete
    3. Bad Taste? I'm sorry but if I learned anything from the election we went through and entered this new Trumpian era, NOTHING IS IN BAD TASTE. People will love and accept any form of bad taste. Thanks, Donald. You've taught me well. :-)

      "that's how things worked when there was next to no value to a human life."

      And apparently it's making a big come back here in America.

      Delete
  2. Your blog inspired another post from me. It is so wise of you to understand that contact punishment from a female is what they crave. the only possible way it could be aversive is to withhold it. The idea of having a male apply it, though, is brilliant as an aversive stimuli!

    I should note that your husband is talking an awful lot on my blog about "not being able to take" the 300 strokes I suggest. I don't think a man takes the trouble to make a comment like that unless he is craving it deep down. I think Lilith needs to come out and play!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tend to agree. He let the dirty dishes sit in the sink longer than I'd like 2 nights ago. I told him they better be done by the time I finish my dessert, or I'll get the restraints and we'll try for those 300. It was like magic. They were all done in 10 minutes. Thanks, Julie! You've inspired my husband. So far, just the mention and thought of it adjust behavior powerfully.

      Also, very nice article. I will link to it here in the future. It will save me some writing as I'm sure the delineation between BDSM play and the deeper needs a male has will come up here.

      Delete
    2. Julie and Yoga Girl I enjoy both your blogs. Thank you. I think that I need the type of relationship advocated by Yoga Girl on her blog FLR101. Julie's blog leads me to greedy and wonderful fantasies. I guess it is about a balance but I probably need more FLR now.

      Delete
  3. Yoga girl i am sure you be top and pro in no time your husband be listening and obey your rules for house hold chore etc i know for fact i would listen and obey you all time knowing what good for me i try listen obey all female cause righ thing to do and keep me on women female good side lol no male want see female angry mostly a wife lol

    maybe try leaving paddle out in plain sight when husband cleaning dishes putting them away or cleanin house work so he would know and when look at paddle knowing what going happen how paddle going be use on his bare butt 300-500 times

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Yoga Girl ,
    I am attaching a link to a video you may find interesting featuring a young lady paddling her boyfriend for 'unuathorized orgasms'. You can read the context in the video but in summary her boyfriend was required to deliver a certain quantity of orgasms for her - without orgasming himself. Unfortunately for him he 'failed' 4 times resulting in 145 strokes of the paddle which she really lays on with venom.
    enjoy.
    http://www.spankingtube.com/user/cplspank/videos

    ReplyDelete
  5. Interesting article. My gf doesn't use poker chips, she just marks it on a chalk board. She had me go for 4 months one time, I thought I was over the hump and immune from sex, except for her. But when she allowed me to do it, I came in like a minute.We have found that keeping me busy helps a lot, now I never go more than a month without. Depending on my behavior.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi,do you give your house husband an allowance, and is it restricted when you need correct his bad behavior?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Having the man suggest his own "adversive stimuli" is a terrific idea. My lady knows I'm willing to suggest things she'd never dream of suggesting. I have the privilege and responsibility for making the bed and keeping up with laundry. My lady hates making the bed, in particular and it is my joy to take care of that in our home. If my lady ever feels that I'm not keeping up, she does it, herself, and I pay her for doing it for me. My adversive stimuli? I'm not allowed to make the bed or do the laundry for a day and I pay her for doing making the bed and doing laundry for me, a set amount for the first load, doubled for each load she does. It's the adversive stimuli that can keep on giving all day long.

    ReplyDelete