Monday, December 12, 2016

Terms of Entry


Our intercourse sessions are very passionate.  I think if most women could witness them, they might find it unbelievable.  But this is the way a man responds to a woman's vagina when he is stimulated with it daily without ejaculation.  The sobbing, crying and screaming are par for the course as I ride him in his pre-climax state letting him rest only when I'm riding his face for my orgasm.  I've become very skilled in the saddle, backing off to give him some space so he doesn't spill but not too far so he falls out of his pre-climax state.

I think every woman wants the power to fuck her husband's brains out, and ladies, once you've introduced your husband to his new life of retaining with an ejaculation schedule, that's exactly what will happen each and every time you have sex, not just on a birthday or anniversary.  My husband is delirious during intercourse and takes a while to get his head on straight afterward.  Note: Your husband should not drive after sex like this, and performing even simple tasks like pouring a glass of water can be a challenge as his brain is swimming in all those neuro transmitters.  Now that's erotic power.  Of late, my husband is begging to have another week or even month off from retaining as I ride him hard and relentless which can make it difficult for him to reach that 7th day for ejaculation while on the verge of release without spilling.

I've mentioned having a ceremony where he would vow only to ejaculate when given permission by me.  But he really seems to be dragging his feet on this issue, so I decided to go ahead and make it easy on him and set the Terms of Entry to my vagina.  He may be uncertain about that kind of commitment, but I'm not.  And I feel certain that at this point in my life that I will not be in a relationship with a man that is not retaining and on an ejaculation schedule.  I think any woman that has tried this would feel the same way.

As a woman, I have the right to decide on the terms and conditions that I will participate in a relationship with a man, and the man of course has the right to choose a different path with a different woman.  But if my husband wants to enter my vagina, these are the terms that he must abide by:

  • He must practice semen retention.
  • He must abide by the ejaculation schedule I  set.
  • He will submit to the agreed upon consequences for unauthorized ejaculation.
I don't set these terms lightly, but the trial period is over.  There is no question our relationship is better in every respect under this system.  I'll relate the experience of coming to this obvious realization that I have rights too. This is a two way street.

During one of our sessions where he's half out of his mind and begging to take maybe a 30 day break from this which will certainly never happen, I thought what would Lady Elizabeth Bathory do?  The answer in my head was she would probably hang him upside down, cut his throat, drain his blood and bathe in it.  Okay, wrong person to ask.  Note to self, don't ever ask Liz for advice.  So, in the throws of excruciating pleasure as he's asking this, I slap him in the face and state firmly, "As long as your under this roof, this is your life.  You'll be retaining with a schedule.  Don't ask about it again.  Now, pump!"  I call that setting the Terms of Entry.  It's been over a year.  He should be used to this by now, and he is,  but during the throws of passion, he can drift to being a little goal oriented toward ejaculation, and it helps to (if I can borrow a term form my college behaviorism days) helicopter the dog.  And I do this by periodically setting the terms of entry to remind him of the terms and conditions of being in a relationship with me especially when he starts yearning to be a free ejaculator again.  In the throws of passion with the crying and begging, he needs something to refocus him occasionally on what his primary task is.  And that's to "pump" and hit that A-spot (see chap10).  Setting the Terms of Entry help remind him why I allow him in there in the first place, and it's not for him to ejaculate except for about once a week.  The rest of the time is about the pleasure of intercourse for both of us.

It's up to the women to be strong and have resolve about the ejaculation schedule in the height of passion.  If not, spills will be inevitable.  Is this cruel?  When you set the Terms of Entry, pay attention to his penis that's pulsing inside you.  Does it get even harder than it was before or seem like it gets softer?  I find the firmer and sterner I am setting the Terms of Entry on a regular basis the more he responds to it.  I only have to look at and feel his penis to know how he feels about things that he may be too ashamed to admit.

Helicoptering the dog is an analogy borrowed from dog training.  Sometimes, working with dominant aggressive breeds like the ones used for law enforcement, the trainer must establish dominance, as the dog, no matter what you do, thinks he's the boss.  It really should only be done to a highly aggressive breed that is actually trying to kill/attack the trainer.  To do this the trainer will take the dogs lead and swing the dog by the neck like a helicopter rotor blade.  Of course, I've never done this to a dog.  I don't even have a fraction of the strength required to do it or the heart.  But the trainer does it for the dogs own good and to save it from being classified as untrainable.  It can take the tenacity of even the most alpha human male to overcome a dog like this and establish dominance.  But once done, the dog knows without question who is dominant, and he can have a productive edifying life.  If you were to ask my husband, he would say his life is much more edifying and productive with a strong resolute female controlling his ejaculation schedule.

I think "Helicoptering the Dog" is a good analogy for setting the terms of entry to your vagina and a good metaphor for the kind of resolve it can take to keep a man from releasing in the throws of passion.  Remember, I said "metaphor."  It's just a stern verbal reminder (and maybe a slap with it) of who's in charge of the schedule, and it's not him.  He sometimes needs to be reminded of what his life now is, and the Terms of Entry need to be repeated periodically as he's completely out of his mind with passion.  Don't forget he's receiving the best sex he's ever had, and he'll be grateful for your resolve maybe a half hour after intercourse is over and his head is starting to clear, and when his ejaculation day does arrive, it will be the sweetest release he's ever had.

Thankfully, my husband chooses to abide by these terms as he knows his needs transcend what he may want.  As always, these things should be discussed in depth between the couple.  We have weekly companion inventories that are a set aside time where concerns can be brought up.  Open communication is paramount in a relationship. We all know what men want.  The trick is knowing what they need.  I feel it's my responsibility not to give him what he wants, but what he needs.  Giving him what he wants will only damage our relationship.  And ultimately, what he needs will give him more than he ever thought to want.

~Namaste

Thanks to my hubby for help with the website ....and for the orgasms.

DISCLAIMER: This blog depicts the loving consensual agreed upon relationship between the author and her husband.  Every relationship should be safe, sane and consensual.  Anything else is illegal. This blog is not meant to substitute for your personal due diligence and is not to be taken as medical advice.

54 comments:

  1. Hi Yoga Girl! This is an excellent blog and resource. Thank you for doing it. I showed it to my wife, and I'm hoping she reads it.

    That's a great point about giving him what he needs as opposed to what he wants. I know I need a strong women controlling my ejaculation schedule, and it will ultimately make me happier then having an ejaculation whenever I want.

    I have a question about accidents. It seems that when I am retaining well for a few days, the build up will cause some amount of semen, or fluids to trickle out, even if I feel I have stopped several strokes short of really losing it.

    Do you consider this an accident that needs "corrective measures?" How does your husband prevent loosing anything with such intense stimulation?

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    1. No, I don't count precum as an ejaculation. My husband has pulled out and paused for 15-20 seconds and then oozed his whole load without orgasm. That's a different story and requires correction. That's only happened a couple of times.

      I hope hope your wife enjoys and gets something out of the blog.

      ~Namaste

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    2. Yoga Girl's HusbandSaturday, December 17, 2016

      "How does your husband prevent losing anything with such intense stimulation?"

      I find the best control is just to back off when I sense ejaculation is becoming imminent. Stop thrusting and engage in intimate kissing for a bit until she spurs me to resume thrusting to stimulate her A-Spot (cervix). Plus YG has a knack of sensing when I'm going to lose it which I think stimulates her tremendously, and she jumps on my face to finish her orgasm which leaves me completely unstimulated, and I focus on oral to her clit. Spills are pretty rare. Also, control is better for me when she rides on top which is all the time unless it's ejaculation day, and then she'll let me be on top for my orgasm.

      Delete
  2. Hi Yoga Girl. l think if woman cares so much about her man, he should be grateful and also show his initiative by supporting her with his semen retention.If man is intelligent and loving, he will accept semen retention, because it is his real nature. Women must be strong because the happiness of her family is in her hands.

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    1. I agree. We have found much greater intimacy as a couple. I believe a relationship is about love, intimacy and passion, and this system has helped us take our relationship from a 7 to a 10.

      Delete
  3. Hi Yoga Girl. I think you should discuss this commitment with your husband during your companion inventories as you usually do.When your husband married you he gave a vow to love and cherish you, so if he is an intelligent man, he will follow ejaculation schedules and semen retention.There are more than enough info, that semen retention is beneficial for men.It's approved by tantric men who respect their and female nature.

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    1. Oh, he's committed to it. But I understand that his commitment can wane as I ride him in the throws of passion, and I do what I can to help him maintain our goal of retaining. Maybe someday he will be able to experience an orgasm without ejaculation.

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    2. Yes, it is very possible. My wife has me conditioned so that I orgasm without ejaculation.

      It keeps me more focused on her needs, and we enjoy sex or intimacy every night.

      Delete
    3. How did you gain the ability to orgasm without ejaculation?

      How long did it take to get you to that point?

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    4. It has taken me two years to get to were I am now able to have multi orgasms without ejaculation.

      I don't always orgasm each time, but as my wife has not allowed me to ejaculate for over 2 years now, it keeps me very horny.

      She conditioned me by having me associate my pleasure with first massaging her feet. I would massage her feet, and she would edge my penis keeping me on the verge of ejaculating, but not allowing me to.

      She did this with massaging her butt, her body, and then to pleasuring her orally. She kept this up until I was so horny that I had an orgasm, but no ejaculation.

      After that first orgasm, it was more of the same, until we reached were we are now.

      She doesn't want me to ejaculate, as it takes several days to regain my current submissive feelings, wanting to do things for her.

      I associate all of my pleasure from massaging her, or pleasuring her sexually. Just touching her body, or spooning keeps me in a highly aroused state.

      Two days ago, as I massaged my wife, I had 5 very intense orgasms, the type that cause your feet to tense up, and sends hot waves of electric energy flowing up your legs, spine and back making your body quiver like a vibrating belt shaking your buttocks. The intensity that leaves your whole body, shaking, and quivering from the pleasure.

      I finally had to ask if I could quit, as I was sweating buckets from the intense orgasms. She had me continue massaging her body through 2 more orgasms before giving me permission to quit.

      I crawled up behind and spooned her as we drifted off to sleep, I was still hard and throbbing.

      We practice karezza, and have since before we married 3 years ago.

      My wife wanted me to focus on her, and not watch any porn, etc. she always hated that her ex would go out to strip clubs and come home horny, wanting sex.

      I am in my early sixties, and I stay hard and horny every day and night, thanks to the practice of karezza.

      Hope is explains things well enough.


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    5. Thanks for sharing your experience. That sounds remarkable. I will meditate on this. My husband just finished two weeks of retention and was quite ready for ejaculation after me riding him on the edge nearly daily for two weeks. Your level of service must be quite high to your wife with no ejaculation whatsoever. I think my husband would be at my feet all the time if I did this.

      ~Namaste

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  4. Hi,I have a question,do you think penis exercises with penis weight can help with semen retention and delay ejaculation.

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    1. I assume your referencing strengthening the PC muscle. I think if your relying on the PC muscle to delay, you may be too close. You might want to back off before you feel like you need to employ the PC muscle which may not be that effective anyway. You might find some useful info here:

      http://www.the-relationship-works.com/premejac1.html

      There's a simple way not to ejaculate for the male, and it works very well for my husband. He stops moving which decreases arousal dialing him back where he can resume pumping for awhile to get me to my orgasm.

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  5. FEmale wife or girlfriend or female friends should alway led and be boss in every realotnionship men have with their female or risk the punishment from female which would be spankings real one

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    1. Thanks for the comment, Mike. People will have to see where retention takes them.

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  6. I think you are a good wife and woman, who merits to be loved and cherished. Thank you for sharing your useful experience and blog,l am looking forward for your new posts. Have a nice day.

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    1. Thanks, It's always rewarding to hear that somebody is getting something out of it. I think my little booklet is fairly complete. People can try it for a week or two and compare the quality of their relationship before and after. I make no recommendations.

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  7. Hello Yoga Girl:

    I practice semen retention, with a little help from my wife. She will set an ejaculation day for me, and let me know when that day arrives. She says "you can take care of that today" which means I can masturbate and orgasm/ejaculate. She provides no other involvement or any stimulation. I have basically imposed this retention on myself to show my devotion to her, and curb my previous maturation habits.
    I will absolutely agree with you about the effects this can have on a male. I feel stronger and stronger devotion to Her, and now serve Her in the ways she allows (domestic chores, etc.) AND my sexual energy has never been stronger!
    This mostly self-imposed dicipline is often tough for me but I've learned to be successful with it.
    I will continue and pray that the day comes when She will be sexuality with me. I am in awe of you and your relationship with your husband, and LOVE your blog. It speaks very deeply to me.
    Thank you, vic

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    1. Thanks, Vic. I'm glad your getting benefit from it, and discovering your true nature by not spilling your seed. I'm always amazed how it changes my husband's nature just by the simple act of retaining.

      I hope your wife will see the benefit of being more intimate with you soon. I know from my experience, that sex with a retaining male is an intense one.

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  8. Hi Yoga Girl You say men are followers in tantra,so flr is natural relationship.Do you think men discover their real nature through flr, and what benefits are for both.

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    1. I think other people may have said that in the comments sections somewhere, but I don’t recall saying it not that I disagree with the statement. I think from my observation of the one male I’m with which may apply to many other men is that practicing retention predisposes him to follow. If my man were just practicing a FLR but ejaculating frequently, he would not be predisposed to follow. So it might be more accurate to state that my man discovered his true nature through retaining which is to practice a FLR. Other men may respond differently to retention. They may be merely more passionate with their wives and that may be enough. That would be a success by any marriage counselor’s standards.

      I will just state the benefits that apply to my husband and myself. They may or may not apply to other couples.

      For me: I get a lover that is fully engaged and desires me fully rather than a partner that’s just going through the motions. When he has sex, he truly wants it. It restores the the courtship phase to our marriage which is no easy trick after 10+ years of marriage. Every woman I think wants to be desired by her man not just used for his appetite and then discarded. Retention accomplishes that for us.

      For him: As he retains, he experiences the most intense sex he’s ever had. The biggest drawback of course is that the session ends without ejaculation but that’s the price he pays for the best sex he’s ever had. Talking to my husband, his biggest pleasure is to see me use his body for my own gratification. He sees his penis as a tool for my use in obtaining my orgasms with no return for him (at least in terms of ejaculation, but he does get pleasure from intercourse). It gives him a chance to be selfless and to be in service. He desires to be used and abused. To that end, I enforce retention and the schedule as it benefits the relationship for both of us. And I reward him by using and abusing him. This was the hardest thing for me to wrap my brain around. I think for many women this will be hard to understand. But it can mean either reward him by using and abusing him or living normally and being used and abused by him in terms of just living as a normal couple in a bland relationship of normalcy. We want more than normalcy. When we make love their is only the intensity of the moment. Both parties are completely engaged, i.e., passion.

      If he cleans more etc. That's just fringe benefit. We can ratchet that up or down depending on the schedule. It’s nice but doesn’t supersede the goal of more passion. Really, each couple will need to peel that onion in their companion inventories where they can express themselves freely without judgement as to what their wants and needs are and establish goals as a couple. For example: My husband really wants me to embrace my inner bitch. Knowing this, I know I can go there if I desire. It doesn’t mean that I will. I doubt that I could give him the full bitch treatment he desires. It seems like a game at first and then retention settles in as a lifestyle. Retention with the schedule is the one constant. That’s become a non-negotiable.

      ~Namaste

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  9. Hello Yoga Girl,

    Thank you so much for your blog and being so detailed to help all of us. May I ask how old you and your husband are please? Also, what are your thoughts on prostate massage and prostate milking?

    Thank you, namaste.

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    1. I'm not sure that info is pertinent. I'd like to actually recommend this blog to people I know without them thinking "My god, that's her!" not that it would be huge deal, but I prefer to keep it minimal.

      As far as prostate milking is concerned, my thought's are it's hard to do. My fingers are short barely reaching it, and the whole experience is uncomfortable. I've never been that successful at it. If you do it, know what your doing before you start poking around in there. Damage is possible. My husband thought he would try milking his prostate if we did an extended ejaculation schedule and tried the aneros, but really it was more trouble than it was worth to him. It's something you have to learn to use, and he didn't want to put the time into it. Plus, he's just not that into anal. So, he just waits to drain it on ejaculation day.

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    2. Thank you. I've been fortunate enough to have practiced on a previous partner so prostate milking is quite easy for us. I wondered how you would see if fitting into the ejaculation schedule? Would it count as his E, considering a lot of semen is produced without an ejaculatory orgasm?

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    3. Thanks. Fortunately we're fairly well practiced and I used to regularly milk my partner before we began practicing semen retention last year.

      I wondered how you felt it would fit into the ejaculation schedule? A good prostate milking does allow him to expel a lot of semen (more than when he masturbates himself) but because it's not the same ejaculatory orgasm, he remains in the pre-climax state, albeit with the internal aching soothed from draining the fluid. So would you say it's something to do on E-day or should it be done more regularly during normal retention days?

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  10. I was wondering where you would see prostate milking featuring in the schedule? Fortunately we're quite well practiced at milking my partner's prostate. Would it occur on E-Day as his routine ejaculation or during the normal retention and stimulation routine, bearing in mind that although much semen is expelled this way, he remains in the pre-climax state and doesnt experience a traditional ejaculatory orgasm. Thanks.

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    1. You’re making me use my brain. I’m not an expert in this field and certainly not an urologist, but between the two of us, I think we can work it out. We’re splitting hairs here but important ones. I also envy your skill in being able to do this.

      I think I can more specifically rephrase you question as: Is it still semen retention if I milk my husband’s prostate?

      If your just milking his prostate he should just be oozing prostatic fluid. So, after the milking, is he still hard and ready to continue intercourse. Is he still highly aroused and ready to go? If it were my husband and the answer was yes, he’s still ready to go, hard and aroused. I would say it could be a normal retention day activity that doesn’t need to wait until ejaculation day as I would assume he is still retaining semen and releasing only or nearly only prostatic fluid. You say he’s still in his pre-climax state which I assume means he’s nearly out of his mind with passion. So that sounds cool to me to do on any given day if it were my husband. Strictly speaking, I think a prostate milking should only be prostatic fluid. Again, I’m no urologist.

      I’ve heard some men report that they can have a powerful orgasm and release from prostate stimulation which sounds like they are ejaculating everything. In that case I would assume that is not retaining and be reserved for ejaculation day. So, yeah, if he gets soft and feels finished after a milking. I would say that was more of an ejaculation. I’m sure this would be an entertaining discussion with an urologist. :-)

      I’ve read that prostatic fluid is extremely bitter, so that may offer some confirmation as to whether it’s all or mostly prostatic fluid. Taste and appearance are factors in how I regulate his schedule. I figure if it’s milky, high volume and not bitter, we’re on track and of course his energy and behavior.

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    2. My husband, who is submissive to me, is not allowed by me, to have an ejaculaton derived from penile stimulation. He "is" allowed, and does, have an ejaculation from prostate stimulation. By stimulation, I mean my strapon. He is bent over the bed with a condom on, this is to catch any mess from him. He does remain flaccid while I have sex with him and he does ejaculated from it into his condom I do know that there is no actual seven in it just by looking at it, it's all just precum fluid. There is about a tablespoon or more from this, that of course is recycled. He is still very horny afterwards.

      So yes, I would say it is possible to kill a man and no allow an orgasm.

      Mistress Red

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    3. Thanks for sharing, Mistress Red. I assume your husband is in a state of bliss from this I assume consensual arrangement? It can be remarkable how much men have a deep craving to be utterly controlled and humiliated by their women. I'm not sure what you mean by "kill a man".

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    4. Whoops, I meant milk a man.

      Consensual in the regards that we agree that he is my subby and I choose what is best for him.

      Don't misunderstand though, he craves this control from me.

      Always remember, be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it.

      And boy, did he get it!!!

      If you deny a man for long enough, he will be very easily molded into what you want.

      Can a man be denied orgasms derived from his penis and then be taught to crave orgasms from a strapon?

      Very much so...

      Can a man dislike the taste of ejaculated, but then be made to crave it for a chance to orgasm?

      Very much so...

      He is not humiliated by all of this, I just let him be who he was meant to be.

      Mistress Red

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    5. Yoga Girl's Husband (moderator)Tuesday, January 03, 2017

      Thanks for elaborating Miss Red. Your subby sounds like a lucky guy. Ultimately, anal stuff is better in fantasy for me than in reality, but if YG was bent in that direction, I would certainly comply. It's amazing how retention changes my nature. I firmly believe a woman can mold a man if she is in charge of his ejaculations. I know I'm a better man for it. YG has shown great wisdom in how she applies the ejaculation schedule.

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    6. You are very welcome. We are both very lucky.

      If YG decided to do this same thing with you, you would welcome it?

      Mistress Red, Heather

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    7. "He is not humiliated by all of this, I just let him be who he was meant to be."

      So true. This is also what I observe when I see my husband practice retention. It's a beautiful thing to see a man embrace his true nature by practicing such a simple thing as semen retention with daily stimulation.

      Delete
    8. Yoga Girl's Husband (moderator)Wednesday, January 04, 2017

      "If YG decided to do this same thing with you, you would welcome it?"

      I don't know that I would welcome it, but I would welcome the opportunity to be taught to crave it if the woman I was with demanded that was the only way I was going to be intimate with her. I'm accustomed to ejaculating through intercourse. It would be a change to only receive stimulation though the prostate. I'm sure YG wouldn't go for it as she receives to much vaginal stimulation from riding on top. She would get little from a strap on. She wouldn't give up the energy exchange involved with traditional intercourse.

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    9. YG, the statement is so true, "if you control the cock, you control the man".

      YGH, that's is the proper way it should be, submitting to the woman's wishes.

      Why should a man be "accustomed" to ejaculation from interiors?

      There are other ways that should be utilized for his ejaculation. A man shold have his boundaries opened up and be shown that his penis isn't always needed for him to have a great orgasm.

      There is no reason YG should stop using your cock for her pleasure, but maybe consider redirecting how you reach orgasm.

      When I use my strapon, my husbandear has told me that he does have a great orgasm, but he said after about 10 minutes, he is extremely horny again.

      I think it is because my strapon triggered his prostate to induce a involuntary orgasm, that only yielded precompiled fluid and no actual sperm. He was given an orgasm, but not that full deep orgasm.

      I think it's the best of both worlds for both of us.

      Mistress Red, Heather

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  11. Steve1. Hi Yoga Girl. You explained very well male nature according to tao. Thanks to your blog more people can understand better each other needs, their real nature and live better and happier life.l hope you will write a post and explain female nature and their needs in your blog.l think it's important for women to understand and enjoy their real nature.All women can ejaculate it's absolutely normal and natural.Tantra and tao supports and encourage female ejaculation.Church and other people forced women for centuries to be ashamed of their real nature. Nowadays women are discovering their real nature,but fake science and some people tell that female ejaculation is not real. I really appreciate the way you write your useful, instructive and interesting posts.6.Hope every good present day in the New Year serves as a valuable treasure for a better tomorrow. Enjoy the New Year. l suggest you this site:http://www.google.it/url?q=http://www.tantraattahoe.com/female-ejaculation/squirting-femaleejaculation.htm&sa=U&ved=0ahUKEwjby52G4pzRAhVkLsAKHfcPCUgQFggTMAQ&sig2=deTUqHWuUyjhO2lDbX4isw&usg=AFQjCNHmxcE5SC8TMAyyW6LtKdKuFEE-3g

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    1. Thanks, Steve. Happy New Year! If I have anymore to add to the women's nature thing, I'll consider it.

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  12. Thanks. I think we're going to try prostate milking only during his ejaculation day for the next month. Initally the fluid is clear but continued prostate massage does cause semen to flow out. It seems to relieve the blue balls but he does remain hard and in a pre-climax state, hard and ready to go. I'm excited to see how this will affect him over a long period. It's a good method for him to experience the relief of drainage without the associated orgasm.

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    1. Good luck on your journey! Luckily, my husband doesn't have issues with blue balls. There are a few ways discussed by men to relieve this issue on the internet, and of course there's always the standard method of ejaculation.

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  13. Hello Yoga Girl. I very much appreciate your blog. My wife and I have been practicing retention on and off for about two years. When she is setting my schedule our relationship is just "better". When we get off of the schedule our whole relationship energy changes. We have a real FLR, but as you have identified, semen retention is the key for success. Thanks for your posts and please come ntinue to post!

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    1. I'm so glad the observations I've made about my relationship have helped your relationship. Hearing comments like yours makes putting this little booklet worthwhile.

      ~Namaste

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  14. Hi yoga girl,

    Thank you so much for writing this blog. Everything so well written and clear and logically laid out. However, I have a slightly personal problem I was wondering if you could help me out with.

    My girlfriend and I have tried something similar to semen retention in the past (I realized on my own that I was a better boyfriend when not ejaculating for long periods of time). However, as we took this further without properly communicating about it we ran into issues.

    I know you strongly espouse the idea of weekly companion inventories, but I was wondering if you could go more in depth on them? Maybe even write another post about them. My girlfriend and I have learned the hard way that communication is the most important thing in a healthy relationship and unfortunately on some topics (namely sex, as she was raised catholic) we aren't as openly communicative as we should be.

    I guess I was wondering how exactly the companion inventories you have are set up, so that when I show my girlfriend this blog, we have something to model/copy.

    A few specific questions I guess is how open your husband is allowed to be. Can he ask for breaks from retention? If he does how do you deal with it since I assume you reject that notion? Similarly, in these inventories if your husband really says he wants something and you don't want it. How do you make sure he accepts your wishes?

    Also do you do the inventories after Eday or before? I feel like my state of mind before Eday versus after is completely different. Before Eday I literally worship my girlfriend as THE Goddess, versus after Eday my priorities may be different.

    Speaking of worshipping, if we had inventories before Eday I would probably want to massage or kiss my girlfriends feet while we talked. Is this ok? Or do you think it detracts from the conversation by having so much sexuality present? I might be wrong but I think I remember you saying your husband washes your feet during your inventories right? Is there anything else he does during these?

    Sorry if this was long And too personal/specific but even if you can't respond I just want to thank you again so much for writing this. My girlfriend and I kind of were able to discover how semen retention can benefit our relationship but we were never sure what exactly it was that made me behave better. It has made me so happy to see such a thorough And clearly written blog on this topic and I will be sure to send it to my girlfriend soon and I hope many others will read your blog and see their lives and relationships transform for the better.

    Thank you!!
    -David

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    1. "...but I was wondering if you could go more in depth on them?"

      I'm not a counselor, so I hesitate to put together a guide for a companion inventory or whatever a marriage counselor would call it. I'm sure they must recommend doing something like this as communication is vital in a relationship and everywhere else for that matter. There must be a myriad of models to choose from a qualified professional. And what we do as a inventory may not be suitable for other people. I’m more comfortable talking from the ground of what “we” do, and other people can find what works for them. That might sound like splitting hairs, but they're important hairs to split.

      For us, I think it's more about setting aside a time each week that both of us know this is the time to talk about the great things about the other person, and also to bring up what may be better or voice desires without fear of judgement which could be hard to do for many people. And I confess when things are great we tend to let it slide. And of course, when we first started this, there were a lot more discussions than there is now for instance.



      "unfortunately on some topics (namely sex, as she was raised catholic) we aren't as openly communicative as we should be.”

      This is exactly where I hesitate. I have no idea who she is or exactly how catholic she is, and I in no way want to harm your relationship. Only you can answer if you could have her read this blog and if she would be receptive, or she would turn around and walk out. If you feel safe in having her read it, then that will open many topics and opportunities for you to express how on board you would be if she were interested. I think she might be interested in having a husband that is continually passionate for her when appropriate. The only problem from my observations with this system is that it will drive a man to such a complete state of submission, that some women may be put off. But really, that’s a function of adjusting the schedule so your tuned to where she likes you.

      "A few specific questions I guess is how open your husband is allowed to be. Can he ask for breaks from retention?”

      He can ask anything he like, and does ask for breaks from retention. The answer to that is mostly “no” and he understands why. I was generous this christmas. He ejaculated Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and New year's eve and New Years Day. Now he’s back on a 7 day schedule. It will vary.
      "If he does how do you deal with it since I assume you reject that notion?”

      I simply say “No”. he understands why. He knows our relationship is better this way. He knows he has the best sex he’s ever had this way. Unfortunately to have the best sex he’s ever had, it involves omitting ejaculation. He also wants the testosterone benefits indicated by research from retention. I’m here to assist him to make the decision he knows he wants to make, but may not be strong enough in the moment to make.

      "Similarly, in these inventories if your husband really says he wants something and you don't want it. How do you make sure he accepts your wishes?”

      We don’t have CIs for him to top from the bottom, but I do want to know what his fantasies are. Who knows? They might also be mine. It goes both ways. I told my husband that a certain episode of a show was making me wet that might be viewed as unorthodox by some, and not something I would have normally shared. He was glad to hear it. And because of things he’s shared in our CI’s, I knew he would be glad to hear it. If one partner fears judgement or rejection because of desires they might have, then this will be difficult. Only the particular couple can decide whether they trust each other enough to share. If that trust isn’t there, obviously strides need to be met with communication.

      ...continued

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    2. "Also do you do the inventories after Eday or before? I feel like my state of mind before Eday versus after is completely different. Before Eday I literally worship my girlfriend as THE Goddess, versus after Eday my priorities may be different.”

      I think Eday before ejaculation is a good time for a CI. It works for us.

      "Speaking of worshipping, if we had inventories before Eday I would probably want to massage or kiss my girlfriends feet while we talked. Is this ok? Or do you think it detracts from the conversation by having so much sexuality present?”

      It really depends on your girlfriend. Does she like it? Is she comfortable with being worshiped? I imagine some women may not be comfortable being worshiped because of whatever self esteem issues they may have. Personally, I like my husband to be nude so I can see his penis as we have this discussion. Viewing the state of his penis is almost or even more important than what he says. Many parts of the discussion are sexual, so some sexuality is bound to be present. If I’m wet, and his penis is throbbing and oozing precum, in my view, that a successful CI.

      "I might be wrong but I think I remember you saying your husband washes your feet during your inventories right? Is there anything else he does during these?”

      Yes, he does. It’s not a hard and fast rule, but it works for us. He doesn't do anything else.

      Thanks for reading, David!

      ~Namaste

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    3. Hi, we love your blog. It's been pretty much transformational in our relationship after being married many years.
      I'm sorry if I missed this and you've addressed it elsewhere, but it sounds like you do not include "ruined" orgasms in your lovemaking repertoire. Is that correct? We tried including that, but found it still disrupted our (my) cycles of connection and energy, much as a typical orgasm might. Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts.
      ~P

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    4. I'm so glad to hear that this has been useful in your relationship.

      You're correct. I don't use ruined orgasms. That's an interesting observation that you've made about using ruined orgasms in your relationship. It appears that hanging on to your semen is important despite not having an orgasm.

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  15. Hi yoga girl. I have both a comment and a question. First of all my wife has implemented an ejaculation schedule for me largely base on your website and the system is working well. I feel more energetic and supportive. I can also attest that my penis and testicles are larger while I'm retaining. This was a surprise for me, but I am visibly bigger both erect and flaccid. I have also lost weight and increased muscle definition over the last three months. One issue I am having is calming down after our sessions. I read your "stopping the freight train" post and while I'm sure it would help me to refocus if my wife would pee in my mouth when she finished her orgasms, I don't think she's ready for that. Do you have any other recommendations for bringing your husband back down from outer space? My erections can last for three hours after we're done with our lovemaking, and I have retained my semen. My wife suggested having me soak my equipment in a bowl of ice water, which I'm not too crazy about. Do you have any other ideas?

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    1. Those are great results concerning the weight loss and increased muscle definition. I imagine that's the result of increased testosterone.

      As far as the persistent erection, that seems like a long time. When men take Viagra, they advise them to get medical attention if they have an erection that last 4 hours. I would try to transmute that energy into another activity. After sex may be the ideal time to wash dishes, scrub floors etc. Shift your mind to another activity. Go for a walk/run. Also cold showers can work wonders. Cold showers can also be great to stimulate the lymphatic system. I know 3 hours is short of 4 hours, but you should be able to get it down sooner than 3 hours. My husband has moved on and is flaccid after 10-20 minutes. As you engage in another non-sexual activity, it should quickly go flaccid. This transition can be the most difficult part of the system. And of course there's also the emergency tactic of ejaculation. Pull out pictures of your grandmother, mother in law. Work out physics equations. You get the idea. There's no reason to let it even approach the three hour mark.

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  16. Hi Yoga Girl. I discovered your well-written and informative blog while searching for answers about why I crave retention sex so much. Thank you for further enlightening me and my wife about this lifestyle.

    I definitely understand your husband’s reluctance to unconditionally surrender to your complete control, because I was there too. It took several years of incremental steps by my wife to fully consolidate her power, control and authority in our marriage and arrive at the point we’re at today.

    It all started with her taking control of the household while I was deployed overseas. Returning home from these deployments always led to conflict in our marriage, especially when I attempted to take control of the finances again. My wife consistently did a great job juggling all of her responsibilities as a wife, the mother of our three children, and as the head of our household while I was deployed, so she was adamant about maintaining control (my wife is a stereotypical “feisty” redhead who’s naturally assertive, demanding, firm and quite hedonistic too).

    The next step my wife took was to take full control of sex. She gradually became the sole initiator of sex, making me focus on her pleasure first. She also forbade me from self-pleasure because it “harms intimacy and drains passion from our marriage.” She then began conditioning me to practice and embrace semen retention in order to heighten our intimacy. My wife has always been an amazing lover, and it was completely natural for her to take charge of my orgasms. We now have sex completely on her terms, with no expectations of “release” for me, while striving for a 5:1 ratio of her orgasms to mine. She now has multiple orgasms throughout the week while teasing me, denying me, "retaining" me, and only allowing me an orgasm about once every 5 to 7 days. There’s no doubt that her domination in the bedroom has led us to the most amazingly passionate sex that either of us ever could have imagined before.

    After my wife fully consolidated her control over sex, her control over everything else in our relationship just naturally fell into place. It became quite clear to both of us that she earned the right to make the rules, lay down the law, and have the final say in all aspects of our marriage and family life. At my wife’s direction, the two of us had a commitment ceremony (where we read our vows to each other and signed them), so there wouldn’t be any doubt about her absolute empowerment and complete control in our relationship. My wife had tears of joy as I read my vows to her. She then had her way with me to consummate our wife-led marriage. The most perplexing aspect for me is that I’m a “Type A” personality in everything else I do, so my unconditional AND willing surrender to my wife's dominance was an utterly improbable transformation for me…, but I also feel profoundly bonded, fulfilled, happy and honored to be her loving, respectful, obedient, deferential and "retained" husband.

    We both appreciate our places in the hierarchy and understand her strict rules and expectations. We also both know that she doesn’t tolerate any dishonesty, disobedience or disrespect from me either (including raising my voice or challenging her). She has also made it perfectly clear to me that we’re NEVER going back to the 50/50, conflict-ridden "normal" way things were before.

    My wife is a beautiful, smart, strong, sexy, caring, loving, talented, fit, athletic, absolutely amazing woman who is truly flourishing as the Queen of our household. I’m literally in complete awe of her many talents, abilities and qualities. My wife has proven beyond all doubt that she ALWAYS has our best interests and well-being at heart in every decision that she makes. I couldn’t even come close to managing everything as well as she does.

    The bottom line is that my wife’s complete control ultimately fostered the joyful, loving, passionate marriage that we both desire. It’s been an amazing journey and transformation for both of us.

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    1. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your experience. It's inspiring!

      ~Namaste

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  17. Hi Yoga Girl,

    Thanks so much for your blog. While I haven't read everything, so much of what I have read resonates with me as a man,... as a man on a path of 'becoming'... of someone interested in finding myself more fully, the truth of who and what I am, and living increasingly from this place ... Increasingly my experience has led me to a more full recognition of the Divine Feminine, the Goddess. A natural inclination to serve, honor, worship from a place of strength and potentiality. I feel this energetic pull as personal and I sense it as a universal truth as well, almost ancient, maybe natural.

    I look forward to exploring your blog more and to your future posts.

    One question... Do you ever use chastity with your husband? Use a male chastity device as part of your relationship?

    Namaste



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    1. Thanks for reading. We have played with a chastity device in the past, but he finds it uncomfortable, and even with the largest ring which the penis and the testicles go through, it still looked quite restrictive to me. I also don't like the interfering with the cremaster muscle which regulates the temperature by raising and lowering of the testicles.

      Also, I like his penis to be free to go through its erection cycles at night while he's sleeping. And of course I like it to be easily available for intercourse when I want it almost daily. It always seem to be a chore to get it in and out of its cage which was annoying.

      When we've used one in the past, it seemed to effect the quality of his erections for the worse. I know, chastity devices are a nice fantasy, but in real life they just don't work for us. I love the symbolism and the look of them though. I think it's great that men want to show their wife visually what they are willing to give up by wearing one, but the negatives outweigh the pros for us. It's hard for me to recommend them because of the night time interference of erections and interference with the cremaster muscle to allow the testicles to ascend and descend to regulate temperature.

      For us it's preferable and easier for him to use self discipline, and for me to help facilitate his retention with consequences.

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    2. Hi Yoga Girl. Does your husband practice some yogic or tantric techniques like asanas to sublimate his sexual energy.They are very useful, l gave up completely on ejaculate and have orgasm without ejaculation.Ejaculatory orgasm is nothing in comparison.Thanks for your encouraging blog, bless you.Did you make some progress with your husband,did you increase his retention period? I think men who practice semen retention are more virile men who really respect and serve theirs beloved women.Women deserve to be loved, cherished and respected in relation. Men who practice semen retention show that they are real gentlemen and know how to treat, serve and be devoted to ladies. Steve1

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    3. Sometimes he may do some slow breathing during intercourse to keep form ejaculating. Ejaculate always accompanies his orgasm. We also do Karezza which consist of basically stopping thrusting while maintaining intimacy until he can resume. His schedule remains the same at about once a week.

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